Couples
Therapy

My first thought of Couples Therapy is the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith, where they're sitting in a therapist's office (that you never see) and they're trying to convince the therapist that they have everything under control and they're just there for a "tune-up." Now, we're going to skip over the part where they're both contract killers and focus on the part where their marriage is suffering and they're miserable. 

So many couples are in that place (although hopefully contract-killing isn't that popular) where they feel like they have to prove how good they are together; how happy, how supportive, how fulfilled they are. On the surface, (i.e. Instagram, Facebook, etc) they look SooOOoo happy. People are jealous of them; they have money, go and do extravagant things, kids seem always well-behaved... 

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But when the phone gets shut off, they're completely alone and miserable. Sometimes it's just constant fighting and miscommunications. Sometimes it's a hidden addiction or affair. Sometimes it's that there's a new baby and everyone is exhausted and frustrated, and sometimes it's just really, really, really HARD. 

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MARRIAGE IS HARD. It's just HARD. H-A-R-D. It's broken people, with pasts and baggage, that have committed themselves to each other, and that. is. BANANAS HARD. Couple that with special needs children, or deployments, or moving around, or job loss, or a parent that has a job where they see the worst in humanity day after day... and it's a true miracle that couples can function as well as they do!!

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But just because it's hard, doesn't mean your doing something wrong. Read that again. Sometimes... man... it's just hard. 

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Couples therapy is not about taking sides: no one has the best score, or wins the most points with the therapist. It's about unpacking the scary, the embarrassing, and the pain... and working through it the only way that love can. It's not always pretty, but sometimes it's just downright beautiful.